Watch Words-- Things that Make Homeland Security Pay Attention to Social Media Mutterings

Morning Boys and Girls:

We welcome you to our school.  You will surrender your passwords to all social media immediately.  Pay attention.  This is important.
The monitors are passing out a list of Bad Words that you must not use in your mutterings-- I mean blog posts, tweets, e-mail, web searches, or homework.  Evah.  Is that clear, boys and girls?  Use them and you risk immediate suspension and imprisonment in Gitmo.  Got it?

[what follows is an excerpt of the list, taken from the Anal I mean Analyst Desktop Manual recently obtained by Epic.org via a FOIC]:

attack          cops          drill          exercise          mitigation
law enforcement          initiative   gangs             deaths
response     recovery    police       crash              looting
threat          gas            plume       cloud              hazardous
infection     mutation   sick           toxic              wave
strain          power       airport       epidemic        collapse
grid            smart         failure       decapitated    pirates
help           fundamentalism          wildfire          disaster
social media                2600          phreaking       hacker
virus          ice              tornado     plot                 hail
avalanche  snow          terror         extremism      execution
drug          narcotics    cocaine      marijuana       heroin
drug war   bridge        cancelled   port                 dock
service disruption       subway      electric           swine
resistant    bacteria     kidnap        burn               bust

I hereby additionally order that you will not cover any news of or history of the following countries and other places during this school year:

[excerpts from the same list follow...]

North Korea          Listeria (in New Jersey)          Mexico
Tuscon                  El Paso                                     Iraq
Iran                       Afghanistan                              Pakistan
Somalia                Nigeria                                      China

Furthermore, your cameras are being confiscated so that way you don't take any pictures of suspicious devices found on your bicycles.  Agents are right now raiding your homes collecting computers and smart phones and video games and other electronic devices from your parents in a voluntary surrender drive to eliminate subversive cultural influences.  You will be allowed to use word processors at school only.  Any posting to social media must be approved by an agent a school monitor first.  This will occur during recess only.

Again, welcome to our school.  It is our wish that you have a peaceful and prosperous academic year filling with the joy that learning can bring.

                          radical sapphoq



http://epic.org/foia/epic-v-dhs-media-monitoring/Analyst-Desktop-Binder-REDACTED.pdf

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/24/homeland-security-manual_n_1299908.html

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2079283/Tweeting-word-drill-mean-Twitter-account-read-government-spies.html

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4095372/Twitter-news-US-bars-friends-over-Twitter-joke.html

https://www.socialtext.net/codev2/architectures_of_control

http://keyboardmilitia.com/2012/02/14/u-s-gov-to-test-terrorist-tracking-with-social-media-game/

http://arstechnica.com/business/news/2012/02/schneier-gov-big-data-pose-bigger-net-threat-than-criminals.ars

http://gizmodo.com/5889505/nsa-agents-will-make-all-their-private-calls-with-a-fishbowl

http://www.policeone.com/csi-forensics/articles/5192351-FBI-looks-to-private-industry-for-help-in-fighting-cyber-crime


http://gawker.com/5658671/dont-post-pictures-of-an-fbi-tracking-device-you-find-on-a-car-to-the-internet?skyline=true&s=i

http://www.wired.com/threatlevel/2010/10/fbi-tracking-device/

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2012/03/06/students-workers-ordered-to-surrender-facebook-passwords/