Rape is NOT like a Football Game

In 2007, Annie Clark was [legal word, allegedly] raped.  She was a student at University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill.  She reported the rape to the University.

When then student Annie Clark reported her rape to an unnamed administrator at UNC, he told her that rape is like a football game.  That looking back, she might have wished she had done something differently.  Annie Clark and Andrea Pino-- also a sexual assault survivor from UNC/Chapel Hill-- began the process to submit a formal complaint to the United States Department of Education, Civil Rights over their treatment by UNC after reporting that they were raped.  They were joined by a third student who had to remain anonymous due to safety concerns and Landen Gambill, along with a former assistant dean at UNC.

In 2009, student Landen Gambill reported that her ex-boyfriend raped her after she had broken up with him due to his abusive behavior.  Both were students at University North Carolina - Chapel Hill and as far as I can tell, still are.

Landen Gambill, like other survivors of sexual assault at that time, was advised to go through UNC's Honor Court-- which is a student-run but with faculty advisors non-legal court system set up so the legal students could have some practice in their chosen profession-- but there were problems.  Her counsel asked her to recount the rape in full detail.  After being assured that any documents and reports submitted to the Honor Court would be held in confidence, her counsel gave papers involving her testimony to her parents.  He used the excuse that he thought her parents ought to know some things in there.

There were also varying accounts of how much training specific to sexual assault cases and vics that the Honor Court folks received.  Someone at the University initially claimed there was a whole day of specific training.  A student involved with the Honor Court program said maybe an hour.  Someone at the University then revised the estimate from a whole day to oh the training was/is given on an individual basis.  It appears that the Honor Court no longer addresses sexual assault cases.  That might have been a sort of end to it except for this: 

Five days ago, on February 22, Landen Gambill received a notice that she had violated some rule or other of the University Code involving the intimidation of another student [or according to one commenter on another site: talking about the Honor Court's "private hearing"].  The notice was written by Elizabeth Ireland, graduate student Attorney General.   The other student in this case is Landen Gambill's ex-boyfriend, the [legal word, alleged] rapist.  Expulsion is at the top of the list of what the penalties are for violating the University Code.

radical sapphoq says: Expulsion is not a suitable "punishment" for a survivor of sexual assault who has been speaking out about rape publicly.  Neither are suspensions, probations, loss of academic grades, a written warning, an educational "assignment", or loss of "privileges."  There should be NO penalty to Landen Gambill for speaking out publicly about her sexual assault.  The Honor Court at UNC - North Carolina should have left this one alone.  I can't help but guess that the [legal word: alleged] rapist is the one who brought up the new "charges" i.e. complained to the Honor Court that Landen Gambill's publicity [N.B. She has not mentioned his name] is effecting his grades, his well-being or causing him to feel "unsafe."  Perhaps he wasn't, but that is my guess.  And again, only a guess.
This whole affair smacks of just one more justification to call the culture among certain schools and universities a hostile culture, a culture of abuse, and/or a rape culture.  Meanwhile, the [legal word, alleged] rapist is living in the dorms across the road from Landen Gambill.  

They live among us.  Student rapists, administrators who tell a survivor of sexual assault that rape is like a football game, Honor Courts who "find" alleged rapists not guilty and survivors guilty.  They move among us.  Old men who beat kids in Florida Reform Schools until their backsides were black in a punishment building called "The White House" and raped them under the dining room in a basement referred to as "The Rape Room"; younger men and women at troubled teen industry facilities who direct teens to lie on the floor for hours in unnatural positions, or lock them in dog cages or deny them medical treatment, adequate food, or proper sleep; middle-aged staffers and corrections officers who still have the strength to knock a student or juvenile prisoners to the ground during a face down restraint; puppets who push buttons in order to deliver shocks to autistic kids in institutions for going off task during class time.  They travel among us.  Survivors who are beautiful in their resistance to the shaming and silencing imposed by a sick and corrupt System.




 References:

 http://jezebel.com/5986693/college-rape-survivor-faces-potential-expulsion-for-intimidating-her-rapist

 http://feministing.com/2012/12/06/unc-students-plan-to-file-title-ix-complaint-with-the-office-of-civil-rights/

http://www.dailytarheel.com/article/2012/12/victims-speak-up-on-assault

http://safe.unc.edu/2013/01/17/recent_new/

http://www.dailytarheel.com/article/2013/01/5-submit-complaint-against-unc-over-sexual-assault

http://www.gurl.com/2013/02/26/rape-survivor/

http://www.opposingviews.com/i/society/unc-may-expel-rape-victim-landen-gambill-speaking-about-her-case#

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andrea-pino/unc-sexual-assault-_b_2497326.html

http://bust.com/blog/unc-student-may-be-expelled-for-refusing-to-remain-silent-about-her-rape.html

Dear People Who Have Been Raped

It is not your fault.  When society tells you that the rape was "her" fault, society lies.  When polite company whisper about short skirts or being wasted or walking around after dark, they lie.  When a defense attorney gets in your face about your rep, when a politician refers to you as a slut, when your rapist is defended by your neighbors-- lies, lies, lies.  When you are ready, you will join thousands of women and a few men in proclaiming, "This rape is not a thing of fault.  It is not about sex or flirting or being loose.  You lied to me.  I won't tolerate it anymore."

We live in a rape culture.  Rape culture says it was our fault.  Rape culture says we brought this upon ourselves, we should have known better, we were bad kids, rebellious women, wimpy men, we were irresistible, manipulative, we lied.  Rape culture says our rapists could not help it, we were too available, we led them on, this thing didn't happen, impossible, we wanted it.  Rape culture says women [and a few men] are property to be protected or abused and subject to the whims of our protectors.  Rape culture says we are not worthy, that feeling sexy is wrong, look where that got us, that rape is molestation, that rape is sex without permission, that rape is the privilege of the conquerors.  Rape culture demands that we teach our daughters to defend themselves so we sign them up for self-defense classes, to not put themselves in danger, to be demure.  To behave.  Rape culture demands that our sons be manly men.  Rape is an act of violence.  This rape culture that we live in is composed of many acts of violence.

Our rapists have depended upon our shame and our fear.  We give in.  Sometimes we are not judged to be legally able to make our own decisions since we have not reached "the age of majority."  Sometimes we are advised not to press charges.  Sometimes we are too wounded and involved in survival and we just cannot do it.  Sometimes we die.

The first time after I was raped, I was advised not to press charges.  The second time after I was raped, I watched as my rapist's defenders gathered around him in a tight circle.  They were determined to protect his reputation at any cost.  I was expendable. Both men-- years and miles apart-- claimed that they were not in control of their actions.  "I had to," said the first one.  "I couldn't help myself," said the second one.  The third time that I was raped, I kneed him in the groin and kicked him in the balls with my steel toed boots.  On that particular night, anger was my truest friend.

Anger is messy.  Rage is frightening.  In a rape culture, we are not supposed to be angry.  We are not supposed to feel rage.  We are supposed to forgive the people who have hurt us.  Because that is what our holy men tell us to do.  We are supposed to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and carry on business as usual.  We are told that it takes two to create a problem, that we played a part in this, that we have to look at ourselves and own up to our share of the responsibility.  We will be washed away pure as the driven snow.  Or, we are the damaged goods bringing shame to our families.  We are taught to negate ourselves.  We are taught to behave.

Now is the time to gather together, those of us who are able, and begin the process of dismantling the rape culture.  Some of us will carry signs, risk arrests, hold vigils, take our messages to the streets.   Some of us will name what happened to us for the first time in our lives.  Some of us will write, using the web to let people know what happened and to demand justice.  Some of us will do other things.
Each of us can do something.

To my sisters in India, to my sisters in Steubenville, to my brothers and sisters in behavioral facilities that live in fear of being raped and beaten by staffers or by other kids, to the little ones who are raped by the very people who are supposed to be protectors, I dedicate this blog post.  To my male friend who told me that he was raped by an older woman when he was a teen, I dedicate this blog post.  To those who have died, I dedicate this blog post.  Do not give up.  We need you.  Together we will heal and live.

radical sapphoq