Being Bullied Is NOT Perky

My anger at discovering a recent article written by one @KarenSisto [if you are on Twitter r, tm, no copyright infringement intended] or Karen Kabati-Sisto if you aren't

published by Autism Daily News also known as autism daily newcast dot com go look it up in your search engine yourself if you want to I am not linking to this piece of trash article

which was recently moved from some page or other to the "opinion" page

does not quite cut it for adults who identify as being autistic, aspies, on somewhere on the medically induced spectrum of autistic disordered and puzzle pieces of a certain other organization that does not speak for us, period

has prompted me to write this response.

As a very young child, I was diagnosed. My dad rejected the recommendations of the examiner. Instead of the usual route, I got the things that I needed and an excellent academic education beside.

Social situations were always difficult for me and still are.

That my dad worked hard in order to afford the much smaller classes in private schools saved me from the much worst bullying that I would have received had I been thrown into public schools and what passed for "special education" in my times.

Dad also worked hard with me. I owe much of who I am today to my father.

This rant is dedicated to him. Dad died in December 2014. I will miss him forever.

Being Bullied Is NOT Perky

The autistic teen in Ohio who was tricked into having a bucket of body fluids thrown on him-- https://tinyurl.com/qjkz6mr --would beg to differ with you, Ms. Kabati-Sisto.

So would the teen in Wales left paralyzed after being forced to jump off of a bridge-- https://tinyurl.com/pgkusd2.

Ask the twelve year old from Missouri who was beaten in the school cafeteria and suffered a fractured skull among other injuries.
https://tinyurl.com/oxfhzvx His mother had send a letter to the principal a month earlier stating that she thought her son was in danger. The student who "allegedly" beat her son weighed two hundred pounds and had other suspensions on his record. Nuff said?

Yahoo has images of "kids severely injured by bullying" to show you https://tinyurl.com/ok87hn6 mixed in with stuff that clearly isn't. Look at their faces and tell me again about the perks.

There are zero perks associated with bullying of autistic kids, period.

It is easier to quantify physical damage than emotional scars. We can give kids antibiotics and bandages and fancy wheelchairs and casts and put them in traction and make operations but we cannot heal a society that persists in justifying monstrous acts done to us by "the good that can come out of raising awareness" at the expense of our pain. 

There is no good bullying. There is only bullying. If your school system isn't working on inclusion and community building for everyone every day all day, then a feel-good article characterized in the comments as click-bait isn't going to fix anything. 

Going into survival mode for twelve years plus of school time is the opposite of true self-esteem building. Acting out of desperation is what we've learned to do at school for years. It's more of the same old same old. This article suggests nothing new, adds no new knowledge, contributes nothing constructive to a conversation that needs to happen in a meaningful inclusive way. Inclusion means having us sit down at the table as equals. That won't happen for as long as applied behavioral analysis and its damming history exists. The fish stinks from the head back.

radical sapphoq says: If something is not acceptable to say or do to a child or adult without a label, then it is not acceptable to say or do to us. Get out of our headspaces. You don' know how to interpret what you are looking at anyway. Quit spreading the big lie that autistic people "lack theory of mind." It is articles like "10 Perks Kids with Autism Get from Bullying" that demonstrate exactly who lacks what. And it ain't us.

Cyber-Bullying Versus Being Fauxfended

"1. Bullying is not okay. Period.

 2. Freedom of religion does not give you the right to 

     physically or verbally assault people.

 3. If your sincerely-held religious beliefs require you to 

      bully children, then your beliefs are fucked up.”


                                                                                                                                                        ~ Jim C. Hines


Jim C. Hines is on twitter as @jimchines.

His most excellent blog can be found 

at http://www.jimchines.com/blog/

An excellent article on cyber-harassment written by him:

http://www.jimchines.com/2014/01/online-harassment/


Other articles of note:

http://freethoughtblogs.com/pharyngula/2014/01/10/lets-just-call-it-talking/

         
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/cafe/let-s-be-real-online-

harassment-isn-t-virtual-for-women


http://www.psmag.com/navigation/health-and-behavior/women-
arent-welcome-internet-72170/



Experiencing abusive behavior from others online?
Received threats due to stuff posted online?
Or, want to be part of the solution instead of the problem?

http://www.haltabuse.org/



Being fauxfended on the other hand is not the same thing at all. If you tell me that I am a big meanie poopy head because I happen to not agree with you, I can shrug that off easily enough.
If you accuse me of being stupid or racist or an anti-feminist or full of false ego or something, I can blow those comments off also.

A good solid definition can be found in The Urban Dictionary:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=fauxfended

Here are some articles and things that talk about people who were fauxfended:

http://thegraph.com/2012/09/personalities-vs-facts/

http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Journalism/2014/01/04/HuffPo-No-Apology-For-Pearl-Harbor-Insult-Is-Perfect-Response

http://sistertoldjah.com/archives/2013/01/08/class-act-katherine-webb-says-musburger-not-creepy-for-gushing-about-her-on-natl-tv/

http://kmgarcia2000.blogspot.com/2012/09/blaming-victims.html



What no one should blow off are threats such as "I'm going to rape you, kill you, or otherwise ef you up." That sort of thing ought to require the attention of the nearest law enforcement agency. [And hopefully, the nearest law enforcement agency will be better informed than the one here is and more equipped to skillfully handle a complaint of cyber-bullying than the one 'round here is].

radical sapphoq says: Some people use cyber-bullying as a convenient argument for using one's wallet name on the internet. I've seen people on Fakeboo, FedBoo, SpaceCase [using one of my fake socks because I will not help the government to collect info or meta-data on me], I mean that website-- you know the one I mean-- using their "real names" and making vicious comments about other people. 
People are people whether using their legal names on the internet or not.

Those who are in the public eye tend to use their names online. The rest of us don't. Some of the rest of us have had problems with people stalking us [either online or in 'real' life F2F] or threatening us. Some of us may be hiding from a past domestic violence situation or other troublesome history and thus we cannot safely enjoy the internet using our wallet info. Some of us prefer that our bosses and our elderly relatives not be able to find us on the internet. Some of us value our privacy and refuse to give out our real names and locations. Some of us have more than one of the above listed reasons for a decision to use socks or pseudonyms online. Some of us may have solid reasons that I have not listed here.

I am against laws that require us to use our wallet information online and against laws that would assign each of us some sort of internet 'number' that a government can use to trace back to us. Period. The dark net has its uses. Hopefully, an alter-net will become a reality for those of us who refuse to succumb to the line of thinking that starts with the dreaded words "It's for your own good that we are...".

               ~ LESS GOVERNMENT MORE FUN ~

Brandon Wegner and the School Newspaper

Brandon Wegner wrote an opinion piece for his public school's newspaper which was against same gender couples adopting children.  He was asked to write it and he did.  Brandon Wegner is a Christian.  He used scripture to explain his viewpoint.  If references to scripture were not wanted, that should have been made clear when he was initially asked to write the piece.  A member of the faculty serves as advisor to the school newspaper.  The faculty member could have forbidden the piece to be published, or at the very least consulted with his or her supervisor if there was any question.



A same gender couple with a child who attends the school called the principal to complain.  They were given an apology.  The apology referenced the words "bullying" and "disrespect."


Superintendent Carlson then confronted Brandon Wegner directly.  The superintendent threatened to expel him.


These are some of the facts of the case as reported by Fox News-- and only by Fox News.


radical sapphoq says:
Brandon Wegner was asked to write an argument against same gendered couples adopting kids.  He did so.  That I or anyone else agrees or disagrees with his stance is not the issue.


His opinion was published in the school newspaper.  There is no mention of the faculty advisor trying to censor or otherwise change the words that Brandon Wegner wrote.


A same gendered couple whose child attends the school was offended.  That is the risk that one takes when freedom of speech is allowed to take place, albeit even the limited freedom of speech that is permitted to high school students in the interest of maintaining order in a public school setting.  An apology was issued.  I don't know the reasoning behind the decision to give the couple an apology.  
The apology referenced "bullying" and "disrespect."  I read nothing in Brandon Wegner's article that hinted at either.  Brandon Wegner did not write "All same gendered couples should be shot/ forced to live in gay ghettos/ denied all freedoms..." or anything like that.  He also did not write "Same gendered couples are ignorant and stupid/ smell badly/ suck..." or anything like that.


The Superintendent was wrong in his actions in my opinion.  There is no indication in the report that Brandon Wegner had been asked to keep his beliefs out of his writing.  There is also no evidence of Brandon Wegner making a ruckus or otherwise acting in a way that indicated that he hated the child of the same gendered couple or intending to do anything like firebomb the child's parents' car or litter his school's football field with Chick Tracts referencing homosexuality as against the beliefs of Christians who take the Bible literally.  If Brandon Wegner had threatened violence or acted in a violent manner, then suspension or expulsion would have been warranted.  


All reports I found on the internet listed their source as being Fox News.  This sort of thing should have been reported by many other news teams who could have sent out their own reporters to cover the story.


This story is about one student who wrote an opinion that he was asked to write.  The school newspaper published the opinion.  Sorry, but I don't see how Brandon Wegner could be judged as being wrong for doing as he was asked to do.


I don't know what the beliefs of the principal, faculty advisor, or superintendent are in respect to same gender partners adopting a child and I don't care.  What happened to Brandon Wegner was wrong.  The superintendent, based on the reports that I read, had no reason to threaten Brandon Wegner with suspension.



Disclosure:  I have been involved with g.l.b.t.i.q. issues for a number of years. 



http://radio.foxnews.com/toddstarnes/top-stories/atty-says-school-threatened-punished-boy-who-opposed-gay-adoption.html
http://www.greenbaypressgazette.com/assets/pdf/U0183892114.PDF

SETTING FIRE TO A BUNDLE OF STICKS 1/24/07

In the latest evidence that we are becoming a mental hell nation, an actor voluntarily entered counseling after calling another actor a "faggot." Isaiah Washington apparently used the offensive epitaph towards actor T.R. Knight [who actually was not present] during an argument or disagreement. Washington also met with folks from GLSEN and he has agreed to help out in some campaign designed to teach those not in the know how hateful and painful the word "faggot" is.

In a loose nod to "NoNameCallingWeek," I myself a bisexual dyke, have to admit a certain state of perplexity over why a disagreement or an argument between two actors off-stage or backstage is even worthy of news reporting. Hopefully, the talk therapy that Isaiah Washington gets will do more than just teach him to "play nicely with others."

The use of the word FAGGOT is not the problem. The problem is a society which has been white-washed by political correctness into intellectual dishonesty. I would much rather know directly that someone just doesn't like me-- whether it is because of my sexual orientation or any other -ism-- than have people be phony to my face and real behind my back.

But then again, I've been accused of some rather froward thinking.

radical sapphoq

PAGAN BULLIES AND WITCH WARS 1/19/07

http://www.quizilla.com/users/SwissCelt/quizzes/How%20fluffy%20a%20Pagan%20are%20you?/
How%20fluffy%20a%20Pagan%20are%20you?/

Yeah I took a quiz to prepare myself mentally to write this post. The quiz has a warning regarding the necessity of having a sense of humor before proceeding. It was a fluffy sort of quiz, short and cute. And I made the little blinkie too, using The GIMP. So if you want the little blinkie, right-click to Save to your My Pictures. I abhor hot-linking just as a few of you claim to watch the I.P. addys of those who post or attempt to post comments to your little stake of the WWW.



We now know-- through historical research-- that almost all of the folks killed during the infamous Burning Times were not witches. And we forget that we did not always know this. We ignore any of our own lack in self-esteem. We make our own petty little wars in order to artifically inflate our false bruised egos. We fling those we don't understand into a heap labeled "not good enough." We seek a unity of those who are like-minded. Community presupposes that there is at least a smathering of unity. Unity is not conformity and that is where I think some of our difficulties come from.

Teaching someone a better way to do things is not the same as blasting their name and character to Hel. We don't have that right. The vulnerable will always be among us. The picked-on, despised, unpopular, different-from-the-average kids were easy marks for the bullies in the schoolyards. We feared those who we didn't understand. Some of us grew out of that and a few of us didn't.

Ya don't care for someone's way of being-- change the channel. Surely there are more interesting options for entertainment. If you don't have the patience or you have lost the patience necessary to give a helping hand to the struggling pagan folks around you, then don't bother. You do not have to help. You might have already done that and need a break from it. Or maybe it is just not your thing. Other people who are able to and want to will step in. You are not indisposable. Downright meanness is not called for. Those of us who are able to face our own vulnerabilities squarely can show people how to conduct research, cite sources, create their own work, and get along with others.

N.B. This post is a direct result of my own experience within the past two months learning about the differences between deserved and undeserved reputations. If you are offended by anything I said, tough shit. No one forced you to read this blog. No one is forcing you to think.

radical sapphoq



http://chass.colostate-pueblo.edu/natrel/pom/old/POM11a1.html

http://members.tripod.com/Grey_Cat/witchwar.htm

http://www.conjure.com/TRINE/namewitch.html

http://wiccans.faithweb.com/fluffy.html

http://www.witchvox.com/va/dt_va.html?a=usma&c=words&id=8424

http://www.akashanpathways.com/witchcraft.htm

http://wicca.timerift.net/fluffy.shtml

http://wiccans.faithweb.com/lbunny.html

http://www.soulrebels.com/beth/fluffy.html

http://www.geocities.com/tribhis/fluffresponse.html

http://witchkit.tripod.com/FluffVsHardcore.html

http://wicca.timerift.net/ravenwolf.shtml

CYBER-SAFETY 101 1/14/07

Friends don't let friends use Micro$oft though sometimes there is good info to be found there. One such example is found here at: http://www.microsoft.com/athome/security/children/kidpred.mspx

Many of us who blog, post on boards, join e-groups forget that there are basic safety rules and we violate them without thinking. How many of us post our birthdates on our blogs? Town we live in? School we attend? Name of company we work at?
Other folks are doing that too.
Sooner or later, we may be instant messaging with others we have met during our internet pursuits.
We are too casual. We think nothing of these things. And it may be that some of the threats have been exaggerated.
Some stats may be inaccurate, yet the bottom line is when someone we know becomes a victim, the stats lose their meaning.

We may have teens who have been sucked up into blogging and websites and e-groups and boards and on-line gaming and instant messaging as well.
That sympathetic teen blogging "friend" or "buddy" in an e-group for teens looking for support and direction may not have their best interests at heart.

Do we know who they are communicating with? Do we know who we are communicating with?
Witness Yahoo 360 blogs where the ease of getting a yahoo ID can translate into many phoney identities. Nowadays we can be any name, age, or location that we choose to be.

Here and here are some basic safety rules that parents can implement for their children and teens. Actually, those rules would be pretty good for us adults to follow too.

People, are we following the basics of internet safety?
And parents, have you taught your children the basics of internet safety?

Parents, you should be actively monitoring what your children are doing on-line. On e-groups all over the net, there are teens and supposed teens who have posted their names, age, gender, and locations. Would your teen reveal similar information in an introductory post to an e-group?

Parents, you should be actively monitoring what your children are doing on-line.
Bullying is no longer restricted to the schoolyard. Adults can and do bully other adults on the internet on posting boards, e-groups, and in the on-line gamerooms. They can bully other adults via e-mails and blog comments. Adults can bully children and teens. Children and teens can bully each other. Although sometimes people can have conflict which is not bullying, conflict can escalate into bullying or other anti-social behavior. There are also individuals who delight in generating conflict on-line in newsgroups, e-groups, and anywhere that people electronically gather. Educate your teen on internet trolls and how to deal with them. Teach your teen that feeding trolls only encourages them further. Trolls may evolve into full-blown cyber-stalkers.

Parents, you should be actively monitoring what your children are doing on-line. Anyone can be a victim of a cyber-stalker. The Instant Messenger buddy who insists upon knowing why your teen wasn't on-line at the usual time, the blogging acquaintance who investigates your teen [and family] and then publishes personal info on-line [like your phone number] or shows up unannounced at school or job are exhibiting some of the characteristics of cyberstalkers. The religious guru who is running your teen's e-group may be a cult in the making and the malcontent who bombards your teen's e-mail account with threats of legal action may be a bully. The cyber-stalker will invade your teen's life by showing up at your front door or consistently at the electronic gameroom or teen chat.

There is a heap of information on-line about remaining safe in cyber-space.
Here are some ideas gathered from those places:

Be the parent.
Set guidelines and rules for internet usage.
Put the computer in a family room.
Remain in that room when your children are on-line.
Monitor their e-mail.
Monitor their blogs.
Talk about keeping private information private, fighting, bullying, cyber-stalking, and trolling.
Teach them conflict resolution skills.
Show them how to disengage from any internet contact that feels uncomfortable to them.
Tell them: no phone calls, no presents, no photos.
Forbid them to meet any of their on-line acquaintances in person ever-- unless you are present and the meeting takes place in public.
Pay attention to any personality changes or behavior changes in your child. They may indicate a problem that needs looking into.

Those suggestions apply to all of us of all ages.
Be safe, and play safer,
radical sapphoq